Surviving Divorce or Separation

Going through a separation or divorce can make you feel as if your world has been broken apart. A skilled counselor can help you pick up the pieces and make your way through this difficult time. I specialize in relationship and divorce counseling, and if you live in or around Orange County, California, I can provide you with a safe, encouraging, and ultimately empowering environment to work through your feelings during this enormously difficult time. There are other steps you can also take to help make your way through divorce or separation.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

The end of a marriage, or even its temporary dissolution, can feel like a death. It is okay to grieve the death of this commitment, and allow yourself time to recover. What feels “right” is different for each person—while some may want to get back out into the world, others may want to nest at home for a time. The important thing is to allow yourself move through the steps of grief as a part of a process, not to remain wallowing in grief. This is another area where an experienced therapist can help.

 Write It Down

Many people find writing in a journal to be a helpful way to get through this difficult time. You don’t have to keep a daily diary; instead, this can be a way to ensure that your emotions are not bottled up. When you feel like it, pour your feelings out onto the page. This can be a helpful record for you to go back to throughout the healing process. Your journal can help you put disappointments and losses into perspective, and identify gains you have made.

Reach Out to Friends

If you are experiencing divorce or separation, you may feel like you want to shrink back from others. This is a time however when raw emotions can leave you needing more support than ever. Your true friends can be there for you, providing sounding boards and helping you to rein in unruly impulses. Working with a counselor is important, but your friends are also vital in keeping you grounded.

Find Out Who YOU Are

A marital transition can also be a time when you can grow and evolve emotionally as you reconstruct your life. Whether you are figuring out how to comprehend a reality without your partner or with increased distance, you have the opportunity to get to know yourself once again. Working with an experienced therapist can help you identify areas where there may be positive opportunities as you work through your feelings.

If you are coping with a divorce or separation and you live in the Orange County, Irvine, or Newport Beach area, please contact me, Jennifer De Francisco, MPA, MSW, LCSW at (949) 251-8797.


For more information about how I can help in your situation or to make an appointment, please call (949) 251-8797 or email me here.