How to identify the sources of stress

Managing your stress begins with identifying the sources of stress in your life. Easier said that done, right? Finding out the real sources of your stress isn’t always easy.

It is simple to overlook your own stress inducing thoughts, feelings and emotions. You can easily identify the stress from work deadlines, but what is the genesis for having stress about the deadline? Maybe it’s procrastination and not the job demands that leads to the stress associated with deadlines.

Help identify the sources of your stress: examine your habits, attitudes and excuses:

  • Is it too often easy to explain your stress as a temporary state? “I have so much going on right now.” But can you remember the last time you didn’t have a million things going on?
  • Has your stress become a permanent part of your life? “My home life is always crazy and sporadic.”
  • Do you blame others for your stress? Do you blame outside events for your stress?
  • Do you think that stress is normal?

Until you are able to accept responsibility for your role in creating and maintaining your stress levels, stress will continue to exist outside your control.

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Memory Loss and Depression Or the Chicken and The Egg All Over Again, Guest Blogger, Don De Francisco, M.D., Ph.D.

Guest Blogger-Dr. Don De Francisco, M.D., Ph.D.

Memory loss and depression very often occur together.  They can interrelate in a variety of ways.  I want to identify three major ways in which they can interact, but I doubt this exhausts the possibilities. I want to mainly focus on how depression can impair memory, but before I do that I should say a few words about each of the other two ways memory and depression can be related.

Alzheimer’s related dementia

First of all, we have some people with early Dementia of the Alzheimer’s type who are introspectively oriented and will know their memory is fading.  These people will be understandably depressed.  This sense of loss can even lead to a full clinical depression, which only makes the memory function worse, as I hope to make clear in a moment.  Not every one has this introspective orientation.  Many previously very intelligent individuals just won’t be able to see inside their subject experience and therefore won’t get depressed and are more likely to develop belligerent or frankly paranoid responses to their incapacity, e.g. blaming others when possessions are lost, etc. and even conjuring up a conspiracy about it.  Either response of depression or paranoia, in these early stages, can be medically treated and this can be of help to both the patient and the family.

Primary Depressive Disorder

Secondly, we have elderly patients with primary depressive disorder, whose symptoms present in a way that looks like dementia.  We call this pseudo-dementia (meaning false dementia) and some studies have found that nearly half of all patients in nursing homes for Alzheimer’s are actually suffering from pseudo-dementia.   Recent studies don’t support a number as high as 50%, perhaps because we are getting slightly better at diagnosing pseudo-dementia, but we do know that depressive pseudo-dementia is fairly common and it is important to recognize because it is a potentially treatable condition.  These patients with pseudo-dementia are suffering from what psychiatrists would call a psychotic depression.  What the technical jargon means is that the life stresses of aging, what we might call existential stresses, can be devastatingly stressful, stresses like loneliness, fear of death, and regretting the life one has led, etc.  Such existential stresses can produce a severe enough depression to cause marked withdrawal from reality, confusion, disorientation, and memory so bad that nearest of kin are not recognized.  What raises the suspicion of this disorder, besides the life stresses of late age being at a particular high level, is that its progression is much more rapid than with true dementia.  These depressions that are mistaken for dementia usually progress to profound disorientation in a period of weeks to months, whereas even the most aggressive dementias will usually take years to do so.

The relationship between memory loss and depression

Now we come to our main topic.  The major relationship between memory loss and depression occurs in people suffering from major depressions.  There are a couple of ways of looking at this interrelationship.  One vantage point is to look at our own internal subjective mental experience and those described to us by people who are profoundly depressed.  We all have the occasional experience of walking into a room and forgetting why we’ve come.  This is more likely to happen when we are distracted, for example normally worried about all the things we have to do in a limited time, and of course the distraction just makes our tasks harder because now we’re standing in a room waiting to remember why we’re here.  People who suffer from major depressions are very highly distracted.  They often complain that there is a constant negative chatter going on inside that intrudes into every spare moment and often feels like a relentless treadmill.  Depressed people often say they can’t shut their minds off.  In depression, where continuous and intensely painful negative thinking often plagues people, forgetting why you’re in that room is the rule rather than the exception.

We can also now look at depression from the vantage point of the brain, especially as this has been facilitated by vast refinements in brain imaging technology.  There is an area of the brain centrally involved in memory function called the hippocampus.  This area is usually the first and most significantly damaged and shrinking in Alzheimer’s disease.  We now have scans that are sharp enough to demonstrate that part of the hippocampus actually shrinks in volume during depression.  The good news is that this damage and shrinkage is reversible with treatment, either medication or psychotherapy.  We think this occurs because this part of the brain, the hippocampus, has been shown to be highly sensitive to circulating stress hormones and these hormones are usually significantly elevated in depression.

The mind

Let’s finish off by returning to the vantage point of the mind once again.  Research also indicates that memory is consolidated when the mind and brain seem to be doing nothing much.  Consolidation refers to the process of making short-term memories into longer-term memories so that we remember what happened yesterday or six months ago, etc.  When the mind is at relative rest, whether is it peacefully gardening or actually practicing meditation or just sitting waiting for the bus, the doctor, or for a kid to get out of class, this resting activity seems to be when the psychological and brain physical process of consolidation takes place most advantageously.  The problem for people with major depressive syndromes is that their minds are not ever very much at rest.

In summary, I hope a little light has been shed on the interrelationships between memory loss and depression and especially why memory problems are so often a major symptom of depression.   And the good news is that this memory loss associated with depression is reversible with effective treatment.   What has not been here explored, yet seems obvious, is that the contents of memory play a role in the production of most depressions; what Freud called “suffering form reminiscences”, but perhaps we can explore how that works in the future.

 

Dr. Don De Francisco is primarily a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, but has also been involved in philosophical studies and in central nervous system drug research for thirty-five years.

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Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples break negative patterns and reconnect with their partner. This method helps relationships return to its nurturing roots and healthy patterns.  The goal is to move a relationship from a place of distress to a place of comfort and trust.

EFT helps to answer these common questions in a relationship:

  • Do I matter to my partner?
  • Can I count on my spouse?
  • Can I trust my partner?
  • Will he/she be there for me when I need them to?

These questions are typical for a couple in distress, and EFT can help answer these questions and move the relationship away from what you are fighting about to what brought you together in the first place.

The process takes a reasonable number of sessions and like any therapy, isn’t always easy. Studies have found that 70-75% of couples who go through EFT move into recovery mode and approximately 86% of couples show significant improvements. EFT has also been shown to be successful with individuals and families.

EFT works well with couples who are emotionally closed off as well as those who are angry and hurt. EFT has been shown effective for couples where one partner is suffering with depression, chronic illness and even PTSD.

If you are experiencing marital problems, Jennifer De Francisco can help you. Jennifer offers couples counseling in Newport Beach and the rest of the Orange County,CA area.

 

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New Years Resolutions

It’s that time. Again. The New Year is upon us and we look back at all the things we set out to accomplish in 2011 and look ahead at what we plan to accomplish in 2012. Unfortunately, often our New Year’s resolutions tend to mimic each other year after year. What is it about that list that makes it so unmanageable and how can you break the cycle of unaccomplished goals year after year?

Make a Realistic Resolution List

Setting realistic goals for the year is paramount to your success. By keeping your list of accomplishments to small, bite sized pieces you can increase the odds of your success. Instead of trying to lose 100 pounds, shoot for half that. Instead of a full reconstruction of your life, find a few smaller aspects that you can realistically work on. For example, if you would love to pursue a passion for writing, don’t add to the list ‘write an epic novel,’ instead add ‘write an article for a local newspaper.’ Try it out. Start with one of your larger goals and then break it up into smaller more manageable pieces.

Make a Dream List

After you have finished your realistic resolution list, create a separate list of goals that are much loftier. These are things that you don’t really consider realistically accomplishing in a year, but having a wish or two that you would love to see happen can keep you looking ahead in life.

Don’t Watch the Calendar

Your New Year’s resolutions shouldn’t feel like work. Don’t get bogged down in the day to day management of your resolutions. Instead, keep a loose eye on your progress, checking in every 1-2 months to identify your progress. A watched pot doesn’t boil.

Success Can Be Small

Just because you didn’t accomplish everything on your list doesn’t mean that you have failed. Even if you haven’t achieved any of your goals on the list doesn’t mean you aren’t a success. Acknowledging the smaller accomplishments both on and off your resolution list sets you up for greater success. By having a realistic list you can accomplish will allow you to identify those things you have succeeded at throughout the year. Life is an organic, exciting journey that moves and evolves for us.

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Philanthropy As Therapy

The holiday season is an exciting time for many. The joy of gift giving, family get-togethers, company parties, and the winter weather (albeit not so wintry here in Newport Beach) is a wonderful time for us all. Unfortunately, accompanying these exciting times there is often a significant amount of stress. For some, it is he stress over family gatherings and  for others, there isstress over another year passing.  For this reason, ‘the season of joy’ is more aptly called ‘the season of stress.’  To help cope with these added stresses many seek refuge in gift giving as a means for coping.

Unfortunately, gift giving has its own added perils. Shopping for the right gift for someone or simply affording to get gifts for everyone can have ill fated consequences and add additional stress to the season.

A good way to combat the stresses of the holiday season is to extend the spirit of gift of giving to a local charity.  Monetary gifts are always welcomed, but are not the only way to donate.  Donating your time  is often just as rewarding for yourself as it is for the people you are helping. Below is a list of ways to donate this holiday season.

Extend the gift of giving to a stranger:

Donate a toy to Toys for Tots, or donate unused clothing to a local shelter.

Give the gift of time:

There are several food banks and shelters that see a significant increase in need this time of year, donate your time to one.

Stop and say ‘thanks’:

You can gain perspective on the current year by acknowledging the successes and accomplishments of the people around you; remember to give yourself some credit too.

Support a local charity. Following is a list of charitable organizations who could use your support:

The Boys and Girls Club

To enable all young people, especially those who need us most, to reach their full potential as productive, caring, responsible citizens. www.bcga.org

Laura’s House

To reduce the incidence, recidivism and intergenerational cycle of domestic violence through education, counseling, support, case management and life skills training for victims of all ages.www.laurashouse.com

Unicef

UNICEF is the driving force that helps build a world where the rights of every child are realized. www.unicef.org

Amnesty International

Amnesty International is a global movement of 2.8 million supporters, members and activists in more than 150 countries and territories who campaign to end grave abuses of human rights. www.amnesty.org

Girl Scouts

Girl Scouting builds girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place. www.girlscouts.org

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