Why Can Certain Couples Stick it Out Over the Long-Term?

Marriage | November 16, 2010

There are certain relational aspects in marriages that predict a relationship’s longevity- and they are not necessarily the ones that you might expect.

Taken together the following six factors are highly predictive of a long-term relationship making the distance.

1. Having positive ideas of your partner

Men and women that see their partners in the most optimistic light possible are more likely to last than other couples. Put another way, those that focus on the positive in their partner and their cheap mlb jerseys marriage, rather than see things pessimistically, minimize the negative aspects of their relationship and cheap jerseys report Counseling greater overall happiness.

2. Enjoying spending time with your spouse

There are those that say that they do not need to spend much time with their partner to be happy in their marriage, but wholesale nba jerseys this is perhaps the highest predictor of contentment in marriage and domestic partnership that is consistently measured by Do researchers. Couples that enjoy spending time together normally report MUCH, MUCH higher satisfaction ratings. In fact, money issues are not the reason that marriages normally dissolve, but the reason of “satisfaction” is most often stated. Highly related to poor marital satisfaction is when one partner Ken feels that they do not have enough time with the other, or when one partner is emotionally disconnected from the other in someway.

3. Valuing Commitment

Couples that view their relationships cheap nfl jerseys in the long-term, and realize that problems may ebb and flow, but are committed to their marriage, tend to stay together. Researchers refer to this phenomena as, “if you want it to work, it will.”

4. Investment of Time and Money

Couples that have shared experiences of time together over many years do find it much et more difficult to part. After all, long-term couples are each other’s living memory, and it would be like cutting off a limb in some ways. And yes, money matters; having to divide up family assets such as a home and an IRA makes it much more difficult to dissolve and a marriage than if you left your Green Day t-shirt at your boyfriend’s house after a party.

5. Social Network Support

Believe it or not, when other important people in a couple’s life approve of a marriage, such as friends or family, it strongly influences its durability; a Orange couple is much more likely to view their relationship positively if others do as well. Researchers are not sure why this is so important, except that Sanskar perhaps how others view us is much more important than we would like to admit. Or, we believe that if others think the relationship is good for us, they might see something that we are missing.

6. And surprise….Personality Traits

And for the good news….there is no one personality trait or type that is associated with either break-ups or with committed relationships. Or for the bad news….that break-ups are associated with a certain type of behavior at a specific point in time, rather than a wholesale nfl jerseys personality trait, which is enduring over time-so in a sense we are all susceptible at vulnerable times in a marriage.

What are your thoughts? If you think couples or marriage counseling might be helpful to you, please call me at (949) 251-8797.

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Eight Things To Do If You Want To Stay Married

Marriage | September 29, 2010

The following are eight fundamentals of a solid relationship. It is by no means an exhaustive list, and it does not imply that the following are easy to do. However, if the following eight things are done more often than not by both partners, it s a good foundation for a healthy marriage.

1) Put Your Spouse First

Your spouse gets first priority in your life. Period. No matter what else you have going on in your life-your work, your other family members, hobbies, and friends, your spouse and your relationship always come first. Of course you should be a self-actualized person with a satisfying and rich life, full of friends, interests, and work aspirations-but your spouse wholesale nba jerseys still comes first. Your spouse needs to support your interests and friendships outside the marriage, but the relationship is primary.

2) Make Sure Your Spouse Feels Appreciated

Think about it- we often do not have to nerve to confront a rude salesperson or tell a close friend that we need to get off of the telephone after a conversation that has gone on for far too long, but we feel perfectly at ease snapping at or UNIVERSITY ignoring our spouse. Why? Because they belong to us! Does the person who loves you, married you, and puts up with you deserve LESS politeness than a stranger who might not even call 911 if you were mugged? No. Treat your spouse with the kindness and respect that, at a minimum, you would show a stranger. And yes, ideally, you would be kinder to your spouse than a stranger!

3) Let Your Spouse Be Right Sometimes

You are not right all of the time. No, not even you. However much you think cheap nfl jerseys your spouse has wronged you and could not make a bigger mess of things, they still have their point of view and feelings that need to be respected. It is always worth asking yourself, “is this battle worth fighting?” if it is something you think you can let go, then please let it go. Also, you will be wrong sometimes. Saying you are sorry when you are can often undo a lot of damage.

4) Do Not Express Contempt or Disrespect

In a longitudinal study by Dr. John Gottman at The University of Washington, divorce could be predicted 90% of the time depending on the amount of contempt that was present in the relationship. The study showed that the presence of contempt in a relationship was the single MOST DESTRUCTIVE emotion present in a marriage.

5) Have a Good Support System

You do NOT need to be inseparable; in fact, familiarity breeds contempt as the saying goes, and no person can be all things to you at all times. You need friends of your own and activities apart from your spouse in order to stay alive, vibrant and vital to each other. Having other friends and interests brings variety and juice to the marriage, sharing what your experiences have had when you have spent a little time apart. Everyone needs a good support system of at least four good, solid friends. Expecting one person to be able to take care of all of your needs is not realistic.

6) Do Not Threaten

You and your spouse need to be able to express conflict safely. If you threaten to leave or end the relationship each time there is a problem, you erode trust in the relationship and your spouse will stop expressing him or herself openly.

7) Do Not Ask Your Partner’s Opinion, Then Do the Opposite

Asking your spouse’s opinion then doing the opposite is more destructive to a relationship that many people realize, and many divorced couples remember the doing the “opposite” of what was discussed as a major reason for the end of the marriage. It might seem to you that you are being to thoughtful and interested when you ask your spouse’s opinion over an issue or a situation, even if you have already made your mind about what you are going to do, since you are involving them in your life and expressing an interest in what they are thinking. It shows your partner that you do not have respect for their opinion, and is infuriating and hurtful to them.

8) Do Not Use Silence as a Weapon

There will be conflict in a marriage. How it is contained Health and managed is key. Icy, cold silence is a passive and resentful Psychodynamic form of anger; your spouse has no idea how long this wholesale jerseys treatment will last and imagines that you are thinking the worst about them. Anger and hurt needs to be expressed and acknowledged if you are lose so upset that you want to punish them with the silent treatment.

What do you think are the fundamentals of a solid marriage? If you feel you need couples counseling to become closer to your partner, please contact Jennifer De Francisco, MPA, MSW, LCSW of Newport Beach, CA at (949) 251-8797.

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Psychodynamic Therapy & Couples Counseling

Therapy | September 20, 2010

As the oldest of the modern therapies, psychodynamic therapy is based in a highly developed and multifaceted theory of human development and interaction. Psychodynamic therapy is an insight oriented approach that focuses on unconscious emotions that manifest in behavior.

The psychodynamic approach is well suited for couples in counseling  and because it helps to identify emotions that manifest in behavior, it allows the focus of the sessions to be on the unique situation of each individual client, and it takes into account how past relationship experiences affect current relationships.

One of the main goals of psychodynamic therapy is client self-awareness and understanding of Obedience how the past can influence present behavior. It can help work through past conflicts as well Juni as issues arising from past dysfunctional relationships. It is derived from the psychoanalytical method that Sigmund Freud discovered. Freud understood that the human mind or psyche was made up of several different levels and that it Psychology is the unconscious mind which contains events from our past. He felt that forgotten experiences can still affect cheap NFL jerseys our present behavior. In order to treat this, Freud developed a method by which memories and associations could be brought to the surface and examined in order to modify cheap jerseys our current behavior.

Although Freud was an early pioneer in the field, the actual principles of psychodynamics were first introduced in 1874. A German scientist named Ernst Wilhelm von Bruce published Lectures on Psychology in which he suggested that all living organisms are energy systems and that they are governed by the principle of energy conservation. сайта The conservation of energy principle states that energy can change from one form to another but it can never be destroyed. Later that year, Freud adopted the concept and application of psychodynamics to aid his own wholesale jerseys concept Save of the human psyche. This was later developed further by Carl Jung, Alfred Adler, Otto Rank and Melanie Klein.

The therapeutic relationship in psychodynamic counseling is based on acceptance, empathy and understanding, with an emphasis on developing a good working alliance that fosters trust. This relationship creates a safe environment that promotes healing.

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Mental Health Providers: Psychology and Psychiatry

Reference | August 21, 2010

The general wisdom is that the only difference between psychologists and psychiatrists is that psychiatrists cheap mlb jerseys can prescribe medication and psychologists cannot. At their core, however, psychiatry and psychology stem from two separate philosophical approaches to life, the hands on medicine approach and the more theoretical scientific approach. The Greek root of the suffix “-iatry” roughly translates “medical treatment of” and the wholesale nfl jerseys loose translation of “-logy” is the “science or theory of,” so literally psychiatry is the medical treatment of the psyche and psychology is the science of the psyche.

Much of the difference between psychiatrists and psychologists is in their academic background. Psychiatrists attend medical school, attain an MD, and then do four years of medical residency in mental health. Psychologists, on the other hand, complete five to seven years of academic study followed by a one to two year internship. Psychologists can earn either a PhD or a PsyD. Generally those interested in clinical psychology and treating patients pursue a PsyD, while PhD candidates most often focus on research.

Both professions can treat most mental issues from anxiety and anorexia to dissociative identity and bipolar disorders as well as practice psychotherapy and do research. Since, with few exceptions, only psychiatrists can prescribe medicine, part of their duties include medication management, and often Steelers psychiatrists work with the more severe account mental Real cases that MuhmadEmad require medication. However, many psychiatrists quarter also practice psychoanalysis and psychotherapy, therefore not all of their patients are on medication.

As well as using psychoanalysis and psychodynamic approaches, psychologists more often tend to use personality and neuropsychological tests to evaluate their patients. Personality tests include issuing questionnaires to patients such as the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) and the Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory (MCMI), as well as tests such as the famed Rorschach test wherein the patient is shown a series of ink blots and asked to describe what they see. Neuropsychological tests evaluate wholesale nfl jerseys brain function to diagnose or assess the extent of damage from an injury or illness. Both types of testing serve to guide the psychologist in their treatment plan.

Since psychiatry and psychology are so interconnected a few US states have begun to allow psychologists to write prescriptions. New Mexico began allowing psychologists to write prescriptions in 2002 and the state of Louisiana has recently ruled that psychologists can write prescriptions for mental cheap nba jerseys health patients after conferring with a psychiatrist.

In the world of therapy where psychologists and cheap jerseys psychiatrists dwell, there is a third type of therapist. Clinical Social Workers (CSWs) are mental health professionals who hold a master’s degree and attain licenses to practice psychotherapy after completing at least two years of clinical training.

While each type of mental health professional has a particular training and slightly different focus, each plays an important role in the world of mental health. When choosing a mental health provider, be sure to inquire about the therapists training, area of expertise and experience.

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